Laws of work

 

(1)  The first 90 per cent of a project takes 90 per cent of the time, the last 10 per cent takes the other 90 per cent of the time.

(2)  A pat on the back is only a few centimetres from a kick in the butt.

(3)  It doesn’t matter what you do, it only matters what you say you’ve done and what you are going to do.

(4) The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get..

(5)  You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

(6)  Eat one live toad first thing in the morning, and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

(7)  When the bosses talk of productivity. they are never talking about themselves.

(8)  If at first you don’t succeed, try again.  THEN QUIT.  No use being a darn fool about it.

(9)  Keep your boss’ boss off your boss’ back.

(10)  Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.

(11)  To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.

(12)  Important letters that contain no errors, will develop errors in the mail.

(13)  If you are good, you will be assigned all the work.  If you are really good, you will get out of it.

(14)  You are always doing something marginal when your boss drops by your desk.

(15)  People who go to conferences, are the ones who shouldn’t.

(16)  If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.

(17)  At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.

(18)  When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

(19)  Following the rules will not get the job done.

(20)  Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS

When ARISTOTLE wrote his books; When MILTON searched for rhyme; Did they have toddlers at the knee, requesting dinner time?  When DANTE contemplated hell or SHAKESPEARE penned a sonnet;  Did junior interrupt to say, his cake had ketchup on it? 

When SOCRATES was teaching youth and PLATO wrote the PHAEDO, Were they the ones to clean the mess, the children made with play- dough?  If EDMUND BURKE had had to work, on all his kids’ ablutions, would he have had the time and strength to speak on  revolutions? 

Did food get bought when DARWIN sought the origin of species; Or did he have to hush the tots and tell them not to tease, please?  When JUDGES HOLMES and BRANDEIS donned their robes, and gave their wise opinions, was laundry piled a metre high with socks mixed up with linens? 

How much greater, then, the task, of those who manage both, Who juggle SCHOLARSHIP with CHILD DEVELOPMENT and GROWTH?  And how much greater is the praise for those who persevere, and finish their advanced degrees and take up a CAREER?

Books

 

By author——-LOUIS L’AMOUR.  The BOOK has been man’s greatest triumph.  Seated in my library, I live in a TIME MACHINE.  In an instant, I can be transmitted to any era, any part of the world, even to outer space.  I have lived in every period of history.  I have listened to Buddha speak, marched with Alexander, sailed with the Vikings, ridden in canoes with the Polynesians.  I have been at the courts of Queen Elizabeth and Louis XIV.  I’ve been a friend to Captain Nemo and have sailed with Captain Blight on the BOUNTY.  I have walked in the Agora with Socrates and Pluto and listened to Jesus deliver the SERMON ON THE MOUNT.  Best of all, I can do it again, at any moment.  The books are there.  I have only to reach up to the shelves, and take them down to relive the moments I have loved—————Beautiful, isn’t it ?  

Vegan for dummies

IF IT HAS A MOTHER, DON’T EAT IT.—————-That in a nutshell, is how VEGAN-ISM was described by an enthusiast.  The term VEGAN was coined in England in 1944 by Donald Watson, co-founder of the British Vegan Society.  In 1951, the society extended the definition of VEGANISM to mean the Doctrine  that man should live without exploiting animals, and in 1960,H. Jay Dinshah started the American Vegan Society, linking the Jain concept of AHIMSA——-avoidance of violence against living things.  So no fish, chicken egg, sheep—-ALL HAVE MOTHERS.  No milk products or milk, because milk comes from the cow——MOTHER OF ALL MOTHERS.  Therefore no curd, no cheese, no paneer, no milk sweetmeats, no ice-cream——-to name a few.  SOYA MILK CURDS and TOFU are allowed.  Also cream of nuts for desserts and ice-creams.

This and that!

 

(1)  Before you give someone a piece of your mind, make sure YOU CAN GET BY WITH WHAT IS LEFT. 

(2)  It is better to be mad with the rest of the world, than to be wise alone. 

(3)  A fool flatters himself, and a wise man flatters the fool.  

(4)  A good lawyer knows the law, but a great lawyer KNOWS THE JUDGE. 

(5)  Old Programmers never die.  They just terminate and stay resident. 

(6)  Why should a golf player always bring an extra shirt when he plays golf?  Just in case he GETS A HOLE IN ONE. 

(7)  RECESSION is when YOUR NEIGHBOUR LOSES HIS JOB; DEPRESSION is when YOU LOSE YOURS. 

(8)  On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the ESCAPE KEY.

(9)  Friends may come and go but, ENEMIES ACCUMULATE. 

(10)  A KLEPTOMANIAC is a person who helps himself because HE CAN’T HELP HIMSELF.

ALEPH…Paulo Coelho

 

It is the first letter of the ARABIC or HEBREW alphabet.  It is a point at which an individual’s past, present and future converge., which if one knows how, can be used to understand the issues that eat away at a person’s core.  In ALEPH, Coelho attempts to quash conventional beliefs about time, especially the common perception that IT IS LINEAR.  He maintains that events in previous incarnations have not taken place in the past, but on different planes that ALL CO-EXIST SIMULTANEOUSLY.

Enneagram..a short note

 

The ENNEAGRAM is a good system of SELF-ASSESSMENT because it provides an insight into our main UNCONSCIOUS THINKING and ACTING STRATEGIES.  

The word ENNEAGRAM literally means 9 POINTS.  It is a COSMOLOGICAL and PSYCHOLOGICAL SYSTEM represented by a nine-edged star-like picture that touches a circle at 9 EQUIDISTANT POINTS. 

Each of these 9 points represent 9 types of human beings, for example, nine men see an elephant; they touch the same elephant at different points and gain a different understanding of it.  The ENNEAGRAM helps each one to see the WHOLE OF THE ELEPHANT.

Math!

In a Microbiology class, the professor was classifying BACTERIA thus:—-A SPHERICAL BACTERIAL unit is called a COCCUS.  If seen in clusters—-STAPHYLO COCCUS.  If seen in a chain—-STREPTO COCCUS and if seen in twos—-DIPLO COCCUS.  Came a voice from the back:  So a COCCUS is known by the COMPANY HE KEEPS ?  

 

Here now is a very interesting topic : FIXED INTEREST.=======Have you noticed that there are some numbers that never change ? 

(1)  11 million dollars, for instance.  That is the amount for which Americans sue each other. Here are some other figures that never change :——===50,000 :===The gap between the police estimate of the crowd at a protest rally and the estimate of the organisers. 

(2)—4— The number of years that elapse between the death of a very famous person and the appearance of a book revealing that he was murdered. 

(3)— The number of times, while sitting in an airport lounge, that you take out your passport and ticket to make sure that they are still there. 

(4)—-3Billion—-The number of pounds by which any government spending estimate is exceeded. 

(5)—- 100—The miles per hour at which West Indian fast bowlers are always said to bowl. 

(6)—-200,000— The number of Pounds Sterling given to a departing executive as a reward for being longer competent to run a company.   

English is a very PHUNNY language

imagesenglish-is-a-crazy-language

Don’t give up on English.  French:——-N’est-ce pas ?  English——Right ?ADUMBRATE:—-foreshadow or reveal. to overshadow or conceal, to outline in a shadowy way —or to reveal some, conceal some. 

There are combinations of words that don’t  make sense.  RAISE means to build up.  RAZE means to tear down.  The opposite of FASTEN is LOOSEN but UNFASTEN and UNLOOSEN are the same.  If you look over something, you give it a good look.  If you overlook it, you don’t look at it at all.  If you oversee it, you give it a good look again. 

The word AWFUL used to mean something AWE-INSPIRING, like a Cathedral but the kids who go there on Sundays said, ” You ever see such an awful Church ?”  “No, I’ve seen Churches, but this takes the cake for awful,” and they would make gagging sounds, and the word acquired the meaning it has now. 

According to the rules, you shouldn’t end a sentence with a preposition.  This is a rule I don’t believe IN.  A preposition at the end, gives a sentence ZING.  English has a rule that says, two negatives make a positive.  This may be alright for maths, but it’s a little unrealistic in practice.  Two words that cause a lot of trouble are LIE and LAY.  You can lay your head down, but you can’t just LAY DOWN.  If you LAY DOWN half a second ago, then it’s alright.  But right now you are not LAYING, you are LYING.  SIT DOWN and SET DOWN are just as bad.  A hen SITS on eggs.  When she’s LAYING, she’s not LYING,—-she’s SITTING again.  The only time a hen LIES DOWN is when IT IS DEAD.

“Less” in life??

Do you know why life has so much LESS these days?

Phone—-CORDLESS;

Cooking—-FIRELESS; 

Food—-FATLESS;

Dress—-SLEVELESS;

Youth—-JOBLESS;

Leaders—-SHAMELESS;

Government—-HOPELESS;

Policies—-DIRECTIONLESS;

Relationships—-MEANINGLESS;

Attitude—-CARELESS;

Expectations—-ENDLESS;

Days—-RESTLESS; and Nights—-SLEEPLESS.