(1) The first 90 per cent of a project takes 90 per cent of the time, the last 10 per cent takes the other 90 per cent of the time.
(2) A pat on the back is only a few centimetres from a kick in the butt.
(3) It doesn’t matter what you do, it only matters what you say you’ve done and what you are going to do.
(4) The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get..
(5) You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
(6) Eat one live toad first thing in the morning, and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
(7) When the bosses talk of productivity. they are never talking about themselves.
(8) If at first you don’t succeed, try again. THEN QUIT. No use being a darn fool about it.
(9) Keep your boss’ boss off your boss’ back.
(10) Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.
(11) To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.
(12) Important letters that contain no errors, will develop errors in the mail.
(13) If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
(14) You are always doing something marginal when your boss drops by your desk.
(15) People who go to conferences, are the ones who shouldn’t.
(16) If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.
(17) At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.
(18) When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
(19) Following the rules will not get the job done.
(20) Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.