(1) A cauliflower is just a CABBAGE WITH A COLLEGE EDUCATION.
(2) God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
(3) If a lover of reading is a BOOKWORM, would a lover of :
(a) CASSETTES be a TAPEWORM;
(b) EMBROIDERY be a THREADWORM;
(c) GEOGRAPHY be an EARTHWORM;
(d) JEWELLERY be a RINGWORM;
(e) FINE SILK SCARVES be a SILKWORM and
(f) OPEN FIRES a GLOW-WORM ?
(4) A frisky young stallion drew level with a fine looking filly. “Hi, gorgeous,” he said, “I can’t remember your mane (name), but your pace (face) is familiar.”
(5) A man’s capacity to give and receive depends not only on the sum total of his life, but also of his awareness of that experience and the value he gave it.
(6) British writer, W. N. Ewer wrote the classic doggerel :“How odd of GodTo choose the Jews—— which, some decades later, received the riposte :“But not so oddAs those who chooseA Jewish GodBut spurn the Jews.
(7) Limerick :
The princess (Diana) was heard to declare
Let gossips poke fun, if they dare
My real inspiration
Is Bron’s invitation
Stick that in your tabloids, so there.
(8) The peaking of body temperature, which occurs in most people every evening, is a DAILY RHYTHM. The menstrual cycle is a MONTHLY RHYTHM. The increase in sexual drive, in the autumn —- not in the spring, as poets would have us believe —– is a SEASONAL or YEARLY RHYTHM.
(9) Out of the presses of pain
Cometh the soul’s best wine
And the eyes that have shed no rain
Can shed but little shine.
(10) Things turn best for the people, who make the best of the way things turn out.
(11) Imagination EXAGGERATES, reason UNDERSTATES, sense MODERATES.
(12) I’d rather believe that an ox can fly, than think that a friar could lie.— St. Thomas Aquinas.
(13) NIFTY SWIFTIES : “I’ll trim the shrub sometime,” he HEDGED. “You must consider the past, the present and the future,” he said TENSELY. “Faith and Charity, are my only virtues,” he said HOPELESSLY. “We forgot the bread and the tomatoes,” he said LISTLESSLY. “Eve caused all the problems,” he said ADAMANTLY.
(14) Old Accountants never die —- they just LOSE THEIR BALANCE. Old Anaesthetists don’t die —- they just RUN OUT OF GAS. Old Procrastinators don’t die —- they just KEEP PUTTING IT OFF.
(15) Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful, lest you let others spend it for you. — Carl Sandberg.
(16) The firefly is a funny bug
He hasn’t any mind
He blunders all the way through life
With his head-light on behind.
(17) Never make a negative decision in the low time. Never make your most important decisions when you are in your worst mood. Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. The spring will come.
(18) Not one of us can bring back yesterday or shape tomorrow. Only today is ours, and it will not be ours for long; and once it is gone, it will never, in all time, be ours again.
(19) People go about their tasks, without weariness, if they have a goal and a belief in what they are doing. The survivor’s LIFE-JACKET is made up of imperishable things with which he surrounds himself : books, music, spiritual faith, purpose, a dream.
(20) There are two types of people —— those who come into a room and say, “Well, here I am,” and those who come in and say, “Ah, there you are.”