This & That

(1) Sign on  a Company’s Bulletin Board :  This Company requires no physical fitness programme.  Everyone gets enough exercise —– jumping to conclusions, flying off the handle, running down the Boss, flogging dead horses, knifing friends in the back, dodging responsibility and pushing their luck.
(2) You can turn your PAIN into PROFANITY or into POETRY.  Through POSSIBILITY THINKING, you can change a MILLSTONE into a MILESTONE.

(3) Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm ?  Because the POTATOES have ‘EYES and the CORN has EARS.

(4) Always forgive your enemies.  Nothing annoys them so much.
this_that_venner_sm_1024x1024-480x480(5) Why did the man get rid of his watch-dog ?  HE COULD NOT TELL THE TIME.

(6) When the path becomes slippery, God holds our hand.  When our steps falter, he steadies us.  When we become negative about ourselves, His Grace fills us with reassurance. —- Janina Gomes.

(7) Bees sip honey, from flowers and hum their thanks when they leave.  The gaudy butterfly, is sure that the flowers owe thanks to him. ——- Tagore.
(8) The world is in chaos, not because of violence by bad people, but because of the silence of good people — Ritu Ghatourey.

(9) Physicians and Writers have similar habits,” says Sandeep Jauhar, a cardiologist and author, “So much of it is about LISTENING TO PEOPLE and RECORDING CASE HISTORY.”

(10) What do Russians get when mixing Holy Water with Vodka ?  The Holy Spirit.

(11) What did the tree say to the wind ?  LEAF ME ALONE.

(12) FIFTEEN DREAMS is an anagram of 2 words that are opposite in meaning :  SAME  DIFFERENT.

(13) Cannibals ate up a MISSIONARY and they got a TASTE OF RELIGION.
(14) Why don’t they allow clocks in the library ?  They TOCK TOO MUCH.

(15) If there must be trouble , LET IT BE IN MY DAY, that MY CHILD MAY HAVE PEACE. ——- Thomas Paine.

(16) A STRATEGY without TACTICS is the slowest route to victory.  TACTICS without STRATEGY is the noise before defeat. —– Sun Tzu.

(17) Yoga and the right diet, make health a foregone conclusion.
(18) If you do things well, do them better.  Be daring, be first, be different, be just. —Anita Roddick.

(19) What do you call a clever duck ?  A WISE QUACKER.

(20) A clown is like an aspirin, only, he works twice as fast. ———- Groucho Marx.

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