Love tempered by discipline


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Once a yogi saw a cocoon, which had cracked, and the butterfly, inside, was struggling to come out.  Usually, the butterfly struggles constantly for almost 48 hours to come out of the cocoon.  If it does not come out, it will die.  The yogi saw this and, out of compassion, he opened the cocoon.  But, when the butterfly came out it was unable to fly.  It is the struggle, to break out of the cocoon, that empowers the butterfly to use its wings and fly.
After all, what is the use of a butterfly that cannot fly ?  This is the same situation with most parents these days.  It is the parents’ unconditional love, for their children, that have made their children like the butterfly mentioned earlier.  How do we know whether we are pampering the child or merely loving him/her ?  There is no standard rule for all children, because EACH CHILD IS UNIQUE.  Some parents, in their aspiration to make their children strong, unnecessarily put their children through hardships.  Children-Oil-Painting-17Such parents want their children to become what they themselves could not become.  In trying to fulfil their aspirations, through their children, some parents become very harsh in dealing with children.  While some others, believing that they love their children, over-pamper them and make them powerless to face the world.
There is no perfect line that can be drawn as to how much you should love your children . Different children may need different levels of attention (even children that belong to one family)  For example, if I am standing under a coconut tree and you come and ask me, “Guruji, how much should I water each plant ?”  I would say, “a minimum of 50 litres.”  But, if you go home and pour 50 litres of water on your rose bush, it would die.”  Hence, parents must see what kind of plant they have.  You cannot treat two children in the same way, because EACH CHILD IS UNIQUE.
 If we really want to bring up our children well, first of all we must see if we can do something with ourselves.  Every parent must do one simple experiment.  Sit down peacefully and see what is not  okay with your life ; what improvements will add quality to your life.  Something that needs attention and correction, be it your behaviour, speech, or action and habits.  And, if you can alter that within 3 months, then you will also handle your child with wisdom.
Let children be like a butterfly, who struggles hard to come out of the cocoon and ultimately comes out of it and learns to fly…
—— Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev

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