There is a sense of madness in men and women today, and it’s spilling over to our children, too. This madness is our constant need for change ——— our education, our relationships, our jobs, our possessions and our status in life. Striving for something better and never resting until that something is achieved is a modern disease. Competitiveness causes anxiety and stress, ensuring we constantly perceive a state of lack within ourselves and are never satisfied. We are constantly “doing”, but what if, instead, we chose “to be ?”
“Being” is a sense of feeling present to exactly who you are in this moment, rather than “doing” something to try and make improvements because you perceive yourself or your lie as imperfect. It may seem hard at first to “make the switch”, but the rewards will far outweigh the effort required.
(1) DECIDE WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT TO YOU : Do you live life according to the plans or expectations of others ? It might be your parents who decide what path your life should take, or it may be your culture’s expectations that you feel obligated to live up to. In order to truly live your “being-ness”, you need to decide what is most important to you in life and take steps to honour those things. Along with that comes no longer doing the things you think you should do. In this way, you are acting more in alignment with who you are, with your “being-ness” and not doing what conflicts with your highest values.
(2) CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY IN EACH MOMENT : Many people believe happiness is something that comes from an external source —– a job or career, upbringing, finances or partner. Happiness is a choice that comes from within. It is a decision you can make “from moment to moment”. This is living truly from a sense of “being”. If you expect happiness to be delivered to you by others or an act of serendipity, you’ll find yourself pretty unhappy when those expectations are not met.
(3) HONOUR YOUR STRENGTHS : When you are living your life focussing on your strengths, you are “living in being”. What you are good at ——- “your strengths” ——- come naturally to you. The activities you struggle to grasp or never really achieve mastery of are examples of doing that just don’t work. Stop telling yourself that you need to be good at everything and focus instead on “what lights you up”.
(4) RESIDE IN THE PRESENT WITH AN OPEN HEART : When you are present to each moment in your waking life with ” an open heart”, you notice the colours, smells textures and other nuances of life that you would otherwise miss if you were busy worrying about the future. When you move your focus from your head to your heart, you open up a whole new “way of being” that is centred in love, enjoyment, forgiveness and understanding.
(5) STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP OVER PAST MISTAKES : The past is in the past and that’s where it needs to remain. There is no value in regret, guilt or shame. Acknowledge that whatever happened is over. Reliving past events and “beating yourself up” does nothing but bring those problems into the present, keeping the energy of them alive. Similarly, if you believe your best times were in the past, you need to let that belief go. Give yourself permission to create new adventures and achievements from a sense of being vital and alive.
———– Estelle Williams.