Phrases that will change your life

Words and Phrases play a very important role in our every-day dealings with others.  Giving ourselves a mental makeover could be just as important as giving ourselves a physical one.  Accomplishing this doesn’t lie in changing our thoughts, it’s also dependent on changing our words. ——- How we speak ——- to others and to ourselves —— has a huge impact on our overall outlook.  It’s about time we started paying more attention to what we’re communicating.  Here are some phrases that will transform the way you think, feel and act in 2015. 
(1) PLEASE : It’s among the smallest of words, but it suggests the biggest of manners —- which, quite honestly, need to make a comeback.  There are a host of benefits that come with practising good manners, from increasing social connection to helping you unplug.  And think about it: Are you more likely to fulfil a favour if someone asks you nicely ?  There’s power in ‘please’.
(2)  I’M GRATEFUL FOR :  Research shows that expressing gratitude can make us happier and healthier —– both common resolutions at the start of a New Year.  Keep a ‘gratitude journal or just reflect on what you’re thankful for at the end of each day.
How-to-be-polite(3) OH WELL : Not everything is gong to turn out the way we planned —— and that’s more than OK.  Accepting life as it is instead of worrying about how it ‘should’ be can be a freeing feeling.  Stressing out over the little things can negatively impact our lifespan, take a toll on our bodies.  As one of the most popular songs advised —- LET IT GO.
(4) BECAUSE :  It’s a simple word, but it could help you get what you want.  According to research published in the new book MAGIC WORDS : THE SCIENCE & SECRETS BEHIND SEVEN WORDS THAT MOTIVATE, ENGAGE and INFLUENCE, those who reasoned with “because” in a sentence, were more likely to receive what they asked for than those who made a request without the word.  For example, when asking to cut a line, study participants who said, “Excuse me, I have five pages.  May I use the Xerox machine ‘because’ I am in a rush ?” were given more access than those who didn’t give a reason for their request.  Why ?  Because science says so.
(5) I’M TOO BUSY :  This one is incredibly important.  Put this phrase in your memory ———- then completely erase it.  In the past year, we’ve been more burned out than eveer, and our constant busyness is standing in the way of our capacity for joy.  As author Agapi Stassinopoulos put it in a HuffPost blog this year, “Here’s to the end of glorification for our culture’s busyness, getting things done on little sleep and feeling like we have to catch up with the race —— because ultimately there is no race except for the one we assign ourselves to.”  In 2015, let’s eliminate the word ‘BUSY’.
(6) HOW CAN I HELP YOU ? :  If someone you love is going through a hard time, sometimes the best way to support them is just offering to do so.  Helping others isn’t just good for them, it also can give you a boost.  Research shows that giving back can increase self-satisfaction and a sense of purpose, while volunteering can improve longevity.
(7) CAN YOU HELP ME ? :  Asking for help also carries weight.  There’s nothing wrong with admitting that you need a little assistance.  In fact, it can be transformative.  We’re often worried that asking for help makes us look stupid, but one study found that seeking advice can actually make you appear more competent.
(8) I DON’T :  Tempted by those leftover holiday cookies while working on your healthy resolutions ?  Swap “can’t” for “don’t”.  A study published in the Journal of Consumer Research found that people who used phrases like “I don’t eat cookies” had more self-control and positive behaviour changes than those who said “I can’t eat cookies.”
(9) I’M SORRY :  It’s hard to admit when we are in the wrong, but doing so can drastically improve our lives (not to mention our relationships).  research shows that guilt can physically weigh us down, so let it go with a heartfelt apology.
(10) NO : You can do anything, but not everything.  Sometimes it’s simply OK to just say “no”, especially if it means you’ll avoid burnout.
(11) THANK YOU :  According to Binghamton University research, only a third of people accept a compliment graciously, say reports  It’s no secret that many of us get squeamish when receiving compliments —— and as a result, the response is usually self-deprecating humour that brushes off a genuine statement.  Saying “thank you” not only acknowledges the other person’s kind words, but will hopefully help you believe them, too.
(12) GOODNIGHT : This phrase, by itself, isn’t as important as when you say it.  Hint: Say it as soon as you’re tired.  To often, one of the first things we neglect is sleep, when we really should be prioritising it.  According to a recent survey, more than half of adults say they need at least eight hours of sleep —— but nearly three-quarters say they get less than that.  Time to start hitting the hay earlier.
(13) LET’S GO :  When was the last time you embraced a little adventure ?  Statistics show that new experiences are at the top of our ‘bucket’ lists, yet we rarely go out on a limb.  Experiences, not things make us happier.
(14)  THANK YOU FOR YOUR MESSAGE.  I AM CURRENTLY OUT OF THE OFFICE :  OK, so technically you’re not saying this ———- but this typed phrase is still vital to your well-being.  We are too stressed  out and too scared to take vacation days and instead surrender to burnout and overwhelm at work.  So let your “Out of Office” do the talking, and plan to take out some time for yourself in 2015.
(15) JUST BREATHE : This may be the most basic, yet most important thing that you could tell yourself this year.  Pausing to breathe, to live in the moment or to let go of stress is ‘crucial’ to your well-being.  If worries start to creep in, remind yourself to “just breathe”, you’ll feel the better for it.

Weigh your words

kubgujblNon-violence has many aspects.  It involves non-injury in thought, word and deed.  We are quite careless when it comes to non-violence in words.  It is said that the tongue is sharper than the sword.  A wound caused by the sword may heal, but the wound of someone’s words, breaking our heart, might not.
How many times, in a day, do we say things that hurts others ? When others make a mistake, we imply that they are stupid or foolish.  When others reply incorrectly, we make them feel embarrassed or inferior.  Most of our harsh words result fro our trying to boost our own pride and make ourselves look superior.  We must weigh our words carefully.
Often, we use sarcasm to try to be funny.  We think we are witty, but we do so at the expense of someone else’s feelings.  Some people think that they can get the best out of others by being harsh and critical.  Yet, quite the opposite is true.  We can be more persuasive, using the power of gentleness.  People get discouraged and withdrawn when they are spoken to harshly.
It is quite acceptable to have differences of opinion, but it should never end in a fight. In a disagreement, two people harbour different opinion, but each is entitled to his own views.  If we differ with each other calmly, that is acceptable  We should try to maintain equanimity, and we will find our issues resolved.
Every day we meet people who are filled with anger and criticism, and they say harsh things.  We should ask whether what they say is true, and, if so, we should take I as a lesson to improve ourselves.  If their words have no truth in them, we should not be dragged down to their level.  We should try and remain calm, and this calmness can be attained with regular meditation.  When people see how calm we are, they may want to learn the secrets of humility we learnt.  We add calmness to their hostile environment.
————- Sant Rajinder Singh.


RESPECT is a positive feeling of ESTEEM or DEFERENCE for a person or other entity, and also specific actions and conduct representative of that esteem.  Respect can be both given and / or received.  Depending on an individual’s cultural reference frame, respect can be something that IS EARNED.  Respect is often thought of as earned or built over time.
Courtesies that show respect include simple words and phrases like “thank you” — in the West, simple physical gestures like a “slight bow” —- in the East or even a “smile” or “direct eye contact”.  
(1) The biggest ingredient, in a best friend, is someone whose actions you RESPECT, and who you can truly BE YOURSELF around. 
(2) There is no RESPECT for others without HUMILITY IN ONE’S SELF 
(3) RESPECT is what WE OWE; LOVE what WE GIVE. 
(4) One of the most sincere forms of RESPECT, is actually listening to what another has to say.  (5) When you are content to be SIMPLY YOURSELF, and don’t compare or compete, everybody will RESPECT you.